The Melancholy Death Of Nick Hlywa

11:55pm: Happy
Tonight I am very happy.Janelle is so great.She always makes me happy.

Schindler's List is a great movie, it's so hard to hold back tears right now.



Hooligan Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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Ghost or spirit: You are a lost soul. Very calm and
sweet, you are often the one who asks: What if?
With a clever mind, you want to explore the
world on a different level. Without the
answers, you aren't ready to move on. You are
most likely very creative and find yourself
thinking things through on a different level.
(please rate my quiz)


**Where will you go when you die?**(now with pics)
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Bleach-You're wild


What Nirvana album are you?
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4:01am: What a great fucking day.
Today in school nothing important happened.I pretty much slept through out most my classes.Later on when I got home, i started to watch A Clockwork Orange again.For some reason Rob thinks that I am alot like Alex in that movie, but whatever.Online Meagan was bothering Janelle and Erin(I am so damn sorry!). I guess me and her can't even be friends anymore.It's not like I tried, I fucking put everything into trying to make her happy.But whatever.Oh yea, Rob has to go to anger managemetn for 2 months now, I think thats pretty funny.It was bound to happen eventaully.My dad aslo came over for a little bit, so me and him spent the night talking about the beatles, my future and other assorted things.I hate how things are now.Over the past few months I've lost everything.Most my friends, my dad, meagan, rob, my life , ect. Now all I do is stay in my room all day, waiting for some one to talk to and call.Too bad it never happens.It gets fucking lonely here.

p.s. Janelle, i hope all your problems get sorta out, and you feel much better.Just rember to make the right descisons.


You are Heroin Bob!


Which SLC Punk are you?
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^I figured i would get herion bob, everyone who seen slc punk thinks i am exactly like him.



Awww.. You're Jason! Your Friday The 13th films
were a success! You're strong and silent but
that doesn't matter because your victims know
they're going to die. You often slash with your
knife then hang them in trees for other teens
to find! You started out avenging your mother
too, awww how sweet :D Too bad you're retarded
^.^


What 80's Horror Character Am I?
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You are Banky Edwards.

Let's take a moment to remember the fallen career
of a homophobe.

"What's a Nubian?"


Which Kevin Smith character are you (Ultimate Version)?
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4:33am: Sad, sad day.
When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, yeah let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

Let It Be, by the Beatles

Today was such a horrible day.Actaully it started out ok, then from about 6:00 till now it's been absolutley horrible. It was a pretty normal day, with a few highlights (mexican pot head moje!).Then I came home, and went online.Talked to janelle for a little bit then Jimmy came over.Watched Friday the 13th part 7(which i think is the 2nd best one).Then I decided I am gonna go to House of Fantasy and buy the Johnny the Homicidal Maniac "Z" book. So I went there, got it, and proceeded to make my way home along with jimmy.Then all of a sudden Rob and Ricky pop up out of no where.We all start to walk back to my house, when my mom calls the cell phone.She starts screaming at me to get home, and how she "HAS TO GO TO HER FRIENDS HOUSE FOR TEA" (like i belive that), when half and hour ago she said I dont have to babysit josh.So after some arguing I decided its not worth it and went home with Jimmmy(my mom picked us up, she was that desperate to have "tea").So anyways back at my house, we are watching the rest of the movie.When Rob and Ricky come over(they walked to meagans, and then my house).This is where everything goes fucking bonkers.Rob was yelling at breaking things, and playing my guitar wit the gain all the way up.Jimmy was just being himself, and Ricky had no pants on and was instigating the whole thing.My brother was breaking everything and knocking things over.There was alot more but hard to explain.So I called my mom when she was coming home, and she just hung up while I was in mid sentance.So a little bit later I called back, and she did the same thing.So after an hour passed(she said she would be home in an hour), I called again where she screamed at me and said to stop bothering.This is when josh started throwing toilet paper all over the place.So I called again, where she screamed at me again and said she was coming home.So a few minutes later she did.But instead of my brother getting, I was the one who was screamed at, and everything.Saying I'am good for nothing, and that I have no resposbilyty.I'AM FUCKING RAISING HER SON!!!!SHE IS NEVER HOME!She also said that I never help in the house, and that she cant have a socail life.So I said that she is a single parent of two kids, and shouldn't always be at the bar.And so on.So eventaully she just said that I should just leave, since she didnt want me there.So I did, and I went to Jimmy's.

This is where Rob gave me one of his talks. Where he said that it's better my dad is gone, so atleast I have a resource to go to when things like this happens.And how bad meagan is and always has been to me.How he hopes I have a chance with Janelle, because he thinks that she is alot better then what meagan could ever be and that I really like her.Ricky also said something on the matter but I forgot. Eventaully I came home, and my mom and brother where sleeping.So I quietly went up stairs and have been listening to music sense.I think I am really starting to like softer emotional music more then metal.Right now Cold and the beatles are becoming my new favorite bands.Cold is so fucking great.As are the Beatles.


Oh, and rob and ricky just showed up again at my door.I guess rob is really really sick now or something.I hope he feels better.And Happy Birthday Kurt Cobain!!

2:32pm: home sick
Well, I stayed home from school today since I still felt sick. So all day I pretty much went online, then back to sleep, then back online etc. I watched Sleepy Hollow, then some show on gasoline. Today was so great, I had the whole day to be alone , and just think alot of things out and stuff. I took the longest shower today, and it was so great. I almost fell asleep in the shower.

Then later on in the day my dad came over to visit me and josh so yea.I miss him alot. He said sometime with in this week, he is gonna go do something with me so yea. I am hoping.I guess this entry wasnt all that great and exciting.But anyways everyone PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT!!!!

1:43am: I dont feel good.
I havent updated this in a while so , i don't know where to start. I had a 4 day weekend, with school off, and I had a whole lot of fun(probally the most fun I've had in a long time, Janelle you are so much fun to be around, and really cool too!!).I hope I can hang out with janelle, sometime again, like I did on saturday or monday.


But anyways, I guess all good things must come to an end. Because today I felt so horrible in school. All my energry was drained and I have the biggest pain in my stomach. By the end of the day I couldn't take it anymore, so I skipped 12th and went home.It was so horrible walking to my house so cold.

Well I am very weak right now. In school Moje informed me that, Torrin will be getting out of rehab as soon as june!!I swear to god, if Jimmy trys to get him to smoke like, he's been telling everyone that he is, we are all going to kill him. I am also doing really good in school now, but I don't know why. I havent really changed anything about how I do work or anything.So yea.

3:52am: boring, boring day
I left jimmy's house, and got home at around 8:30 p.m. today. So I just sat around an watched the Fellowship of the Rings, intill about 11:00.Where then I went with meagan and her dad to lockport, and sat in the back seat the whole time playing with 2 pennies. I got home at 3, where I then just watched tv, and was a lazy bum. My dad came and got my brother, at like 4, so then I had the whole house to myself. So then I attempted to make a BLT, but with out the tomato(i dont like tomatos), so it's really a BL i guess.Anyway, the bacon was overheated and it was dry and stuff.But i still ate it all anyway. Then I watched the Grammy's because I wanted to see the Beatles tribute thing, which ended up SUCKING SO FUCKING MUCH.THE WHOLE SHOW WaS JUST MOSTLY RAP ARTISTS AND SHIT. FUCKING BULLSHIT.So yea, I've pretty much just about gave up on the music industry. Unless some new band thats spectacular comes out, I am never gonna buy a brand new cd again.

8:38am: another survey thing
Basics::
Full Name: Nicholas Hlywa
Nicknames: polock, hlywa
Age: 16
Height: 5'8''
Hair: blonde
Eyes: blue i guess
Sign: capicorn
Religion:none
Sexual Orientation: straight

Love::
Single or taken: Single
Name of bf/gf: ^
Amount of time with that person: ^
Do you love them: ^
Would you marry them: ^
Do they love you: ^
Describe them physically: ^
Describe them emotionally: ^

Friends::
Best girl friends:not around to many, i guess
Best Guy Friends: rob, moje, jim, martin, paul
Best overall friends: rob ,
mojeCoolest: rob, mike, martin
Most trustworthy:rob
Who are you around the most: myself
Who do you wish you were around more: any of them

Family::
Closest to you in family: brother, josh
How many siblings: 1
Do you like your family: my dad and brother only
Big or Small family: medium
Normal or insane: normal

Have you ever::
Kissed someone of the same sex: no
Made out with someone of the same sex: no
Had sex with someone of the same sex: no
Gone "below the belt" on the opp sex: no
Had sex with the opp sex: no
Had a child: nope
Been in love: i dont know
Been in a band: yup
Been classified as insane: not to my knowledge
Hugged a tree: yep
Put a spell on someone: yes
Been in a fight: yes
Bitch-smacked someone: yes
Had an obsession: yes,Lord of the rings!
Got gum stuck in your hair: not that i can remeber
Dyed your hair: yea
Cut yourself: yes
Attempted suicide: yes
Hated yourself: yes
Cried because you loved someone so much: yes
Been heartbroken: yes

Music::
Fave bands: slipknot and slayer
Type of music: metal
What kinds do you hate: pop,country
What kinds can you deal with: techno
Dance or mosh: mosh
A way of life or part of life: way of life


Well besides all that. I came home from school today and found out my dad was moving out.So after a while, he was finally gone. I already miss him so much. I hate my mom.She is such a bitch, my dad is the best thing in me and her's lifes.Fuck. After a long goodbye, my dad gave me a phone number to reach him at, and his Beatles book. I just can't belive it happened all like this.

Later on in the night, Meagan called, and told me that she loved me and that she was sorry. But I dont belive her. She said that I am the coolest of her friends, then later contradicted herself.Then mentioned how tom may be moving.So I said, "are you gonna tell me the real reason now for why you are doing this, because we both know the truth here". I tried to stay atleast friends with her, but even then she wouldnt treat me right so oh well.

Now I can't find my hat and my room smells real bad.So Yea.Tomarrow I am going to see the "new" STEMM and KALIGO!!!!!!! so yea. It will be great i suppose.I am hoping nothing bad happens or anything :(

I still fucking cant belive my dad is gone. This is like the biggest thing to happen to me, since my brother was born.It's just like nothing left for me now.Just complete lonelyness. I wish I had some one who is always there and that I could talk to.I miss Rob alot too..

2:50pm: no school today
Well sometime this morning, my mom woke me up to tell me that school was cancelled.So I then laid back down and went to sleep. A few minutes meagan called me and started asking me where some cd was at Media Play. So I told her I don't know what section it would be in, so then Meagan started bitching at me about how i dont know anyhting and blah, and too call her back later for something important. I mean why would she call me of all people, to ask that.Anyway, I took my shower then went online. Watched Terminator 3, Edward Scissor Hands, and Dog Soldiers.

Well then I got a IM from Meagan's sister, to get off line and call her.So did.And this is what happened:

I called and she picked up.Meagan said that she was glad to here my voice, so I was like why. She then said that I needed to come with her and her friend(who i HATE) to Tom's house.Just so they could all hang out. I got so pissed then.Meagan then explained that her mom didnt want to go to his house with just her friend, and that she only trusted her if she went with me. So then thats why meagan called me to use me as like a stand in. That's when I got really fucking pissed, and tried to get off the phone.Her mom said that it wouldnt be any use trying, cause "nick would kick his ass the minute he saw him". So yea. I dont think I am gonna bother with her for a while.

Rob moved to 19th street, and is going bak to the highschool.So tomarrow I am gonna be on a quest to find him, and tell him the news of Six Feet Under playing here. I also might go to Martin's house sometime this week, to help him build his recording studio.On Friday there's a show with STEMM and Kaligo, that I am really looking foward too.KALIGO IS THE SHIT!!!Everyone rember that.Oh and tomarrow I am probally gonna stop by Jackie's house, cause i havent been there in a long,long time.So rember that jackie.

I just got done talking to Janelle, and I am gonna go to bed very soon now.Janelle , you are a great person to talk to and rember that.SO yea.My back is really sore now, and my arms are really tired.Yep.So goodnight everyone who reads this.

8:37am: Martin's rap about me:

I Play Risks While You Place Bricks-Get Your Face Clipped-Deadly Like Jason vs Freddy-Blows Delt With Punches LAced Heavy-Nothing But Insane Flow-Spewing Like a Valcano-While Nicks Marrying Mashpotatos

^yep.


Anyways, I woke up sometime around 4:00. I then spent the rest of the day doing nothing. My cut is looking a little better, but I found out some of the stuff from the band aid, got caught in it, while it was scabbing so I had to pick that out.Tomarrow I gotta go to my cousins house for some reason, so thats gonna be pretty boring.But then I can go get a slurppee!!!!!yay.


p.s. the date on this thing is really fucked up, this entry really is the 31st of january.

10:14am: survey
[1]First Name: Nicholas
[2]Middle Name: Robert
[3]Last Name: Hlywa
[4]Nick Name[s]: Hlywa, Pollock
[5]Gender: male
[6]Age: 16
[7]Birthday: 12/30/87
[8]Height: Around 5'8"
[10]Hair Color: Brownish..
[11]Eye Color: Blue
[12]Ethnicity: white
[13]Glasses: no
[14]Contacts: No
[15]Braces: Not anymore.
[16]Hair Short or Long: short
[17]You Were Born Where: Niagara Falls, New York
[18]You Now Live: Niagara Falls, New York
[19]Astrological Sign: Cappicron
[20]Chinese Zodiac Sign: Rabbit
[21]Nationality: Polish, Native American, Urkainen
[22]Bad Habits: too many to list
[23]Piercings: ears.
[24]If Yes Where & How Many: 2
[25]Tattoos: None yet
[26]If Yes How Many & Where, If No Want Any: ^

[Pets]
[40]Do You Have Any Pets: Yes
[41]Name[s]: Mia,Patrick, the puppy
[42]Type Of Animal[s]: dogs
[43]If You Don't Have A Pet Do You Want One: i want a rat
[44]Have You Ever Had Any Other Pets Then Mentioned Up Above: more dogs, a turtle,a shark, a hamster
[45]Are You Still In School: Yes
[46]Did You Drop Out: No
[47]Current/Supposive Grade: 10th
[48]Favorite Grade: 8th
[50]Favorite Teacher : Mr. Mcgrath
[51]Worst Teacher: Mrs. Werder(tried to get me expelled)
[52]Favorite Subject: history
[53]Worst Subject: Math
[54]Do/Did You Buy Lunch Or Bring Lunch: ..snacks?
[55]School Sports : none
[56]School Activities: none
[57]Popular Or What: nope
[58]Favorite Dance: dont like them
[59]Favorite School Memory: the stories told in lunch, with me, jesus, john and justin.
[60]Worst Memory: oh wow there are lots of them.
[61]Worst Dance: 8th grade
[62]Most Humiliating Moment: dont really have any

[Favorites]
[63]Number: 6
[64]Clothing Brand: dont care
[65]Shoes: military combat boots
[67]TV Show: the twilight zone!!
[68]Sport: football
[69]Vegetable: corn
[70]Fruit: lemons or watermellon
[71]Movie(s): the texas chainsaw massarce, taxi driver, resivoir dogs, scareface, zombie, evil dead
[72]Magazine: Fangoria
[74]Actor(s): Robert D'neiro. Johnny Depp
[75]Candy: anything Sour .
[76]Gum: i cant eat it, cause everytime i just swallow it
[77]Scent: i dont know
[78]Candy Bar: nutrageous
[79]Ice Cream Flavor: something with carmel
[80]Color: purple
[81]Season: Summer
[82]Holiday: ..halloween
[83]Band: slayer, slipknot, nirvana, the beatles, the murderdolls
[84]Singer: Layle Stanley
[85]Group: isnt that the same as band
[86]Type Of Music: Metal
[87]Fast Song: RAINING BLOOD by slayer
[88]Slow Song: yesterday by the beatles
[89]Thing In Your Room: guitars, toys, movies, the stuffed penguin
[90]Place To Be: my room
[91]Radio Station: 103.3 The Edge, 97.7 and 102.1
[92]TV Channel: sci-fi.
[93]Junk Food: funyons
[94]Overall Food: ..Colosso Taco!!
[95]Store: mondo video
[96]Shoe Brand: the people who make my boots.
[97]Fast Food Place: panda express
[98]Restaurant: that chinese place by burger king
[99]Shape(s): triangles
[100]Time Of Day: very late at night
[101]Country: america
[102]State: NY i guess..
[103]Boys Name: sid
[104]Girls Name: never thought of it
[105]Mall: Galleria
[106]Video Game: Evil Dead Fist Full of Boomstick, mortal kombat, resident evil nemises
[107]Shampoo: never paid attention
[108]Board Game: CLue
[109]Computer Game: Doom II
[110]Car: Hippie Van
[111]Music Video: Spit it Out by Slipknot
[113]Word: tapeworm
[114]Month: october
[115]Cartoon: CLerks!
[116]Song Of All Time: oh god, too many.
[117]Scary Movie: the texas chainsaw massarce
[118]Team: Colts
[119]Possession: dvds, toys, guitars, the stuffed penguin
[.This Or That.]
[146]rock or rap: Rock
[147]pop or rap: dont care
[148]rap or r&b: dont care
[149]rock or metal: metal
[150]rock or pop: Rock
[151]linkin park or limp bizkit: limp bizkit was ok, on there first album
[152]tool or korn: tool
[153]selena or Jennifer Lopez: dont care
[154]hot or cold: i'd rather be hot.
[155]winter or summer: summer
[156]spring or fall: both
[157]shakira or britney: dont care
[158]ICP or Eminem: ICP
[159]Marilyn Manson Or Rob Zombie: Rob Zombie(he's my idol).
[160]Kittie or Garbage: Kittie, but shirley manson is hot.
[161]mtv or vh1: vh1
[162]Buffy or Angel: never watched
[163]Dawson?s Creek Or Gilmore Girls: neither
[164]Football or Basketball: HOCKEY
[165]summer Olympics or winter Olympics: summer
[166]skiing or snowboarding: boarding
[167]rollerblading or skateboarding: skateboardin, used to do it alot when i was younger
[168]black or white: Black
[169]orange or red: orange
[170]yellow or green: Green
[171]purple or pink: Purple
[172]slipknot or mudvayne: Slipknot..
[184]slut or whore: slut, whore sounds like a nasty std.

[Would You Ever]
[218]Bungee Jump: no, afraid of heights
[219]Sky Dive: no, afraid of heights
[220]Swim With Dolphins: Sure
[221]Scuba Dive: yea
[222]Go Rock Climbing: no^
[224]Eat Shit For $1,000,000: yea, its only poo
[225]Change Your Religion: i dont have a religion.
[226]Turn Your Back On Your Friends For Personal Gain: no
[227]Steal A Friend?s Boyfriend/Girlfriend: Not intentionally(for those who know the story)
[228]Cross-Dress: all the time
[229]Lie To The Police: sure
[230]Run From The Police: already have
[231]Speed Away From The Police: if it needed to be done
[232]Lie To Your Parents: already have
[233]Walk Up To A Total Stranger And Kiss Them: way too shy[234]Be An Exotic Dancer: no, to shy
[235]Walk Out Of A Restaurant Without Paying: if i was only really hungry
[236]streak[run naked through somewhere for all you who don?t know]: all the time

[Your Friends]
[257]Best Friend: Rob
[258]Known Longest: Rob.
[259]Wish You Talked To More Then You Do: Janelle or Martin[261]How Many Friends Do you Think You Have: a few
[262]How Many Do You Actually Hang Out With?: a few
[263]Who Drives You Insane After Awhile:rob
[265]Ever Lose A Good Friend Because You Took It To The Next Level: no
[266]Craziest: Nick Soto, jimmy's cousin
[267]Loudest: Rob.
[268]Shyest: me.
[269]Best Hair: jesus
[270]Can Always Make You Laugh: martin or moje
[271]Best Eyes: never pay attention
[272]Best Body: carmien.
[273]Most Athletic: Papa Ho Ho
[274]Sex Symbol: Moje, looks like a model for the cover of a romance novel
[275]Hot Tempered: Rob
[276]Most Impatient: Meagan
[277]Shortest: moje
[278]Tallest: Martin, then Jesus
[279]Talented: Jesus
[280]Best Singing Voice: Mike or meagan
[281]Skinniest: me or alex
[282]Nicest: moje
[283]Best Personality: rob or moje
[284]Biggest Drug User: John Sawicki last year, now probally martin
[285]Alcoholic: ROB!
[Have You Ever]
[286]flashed someone: the lead singer of floorboards
[287]told the person you liked how u felt: yes.
[288]been to Michigan: No
[289]gotten really REALLY wasted: yes
[290]gone to jail/juvi: No
[291]skateboarded: yeah, alot
[292]skinny-dipped: no
[293]stolen anything from a store: yeah
[296]pegged someone in the head with a snowball and they never knew it was you: yep, all the time
[298]gotten into a bar under aged: yeah
[300]flicked someone off: all the time
[301]gone on a road trip: pennslyvania
[302]gone on vacation without adult supervision: no
[303]been to a concert: Yes plenty
[304]been to another country: Canada!
[305]talked back to an adult: yeah
[306]got pulled over: not yet..
[307]into a car accident: no
[308]broke a law: yes
[309]given money to some homeless person: yes, whenever i cann
[310]tried to kill yourself: once, a long time ago but i bitched out
[311]cried to get out of trouble: no
[312]kissed a friends brother/sister: no.
[313]dropped something on the floor that u were cooking for dinner and still put it on the plate: of course.
[314]What Do You Think About Boy Bands: definitely horrible.
[315]What Do You Think About Flag Burning: pisses me off
[316]What Do You Think Of The War On Terrorists: ..i have too many thoughts on this topic..
[317]What Do You Think About Suicide: depends on the person and reason
[318]What Do You Think About People Who Try To Force Their Opinions on you: its not really an opinion then is it?
[319]What Do You Think About Abortion: depends on circumstances.
[320]What Do You Think About Rock/Metal Music: I love rock and metal music..
[321]Where Do You Think You'll Be In 10 Years: I would like to be in a band, or a horror movie director
[322]Who Do You Think You'll Still Be Friends With In 5 Years: don't wanna jinx anything, but I hope that me and all my friends stay friends
[323]What Do You Think About The Pop Music Scene: i think the pop music scene is for mindless trendies.
[324]What Do You Think About The Store Abercrombie & Fitch: Why would you buy something so expensive from a store like that, when you could buy a white t-shirt and just write "Abercrombie" on it?
[325]What Do You Think About Porn: dont really care, some of its funny.
[326]What Do Think About The Death Penalty: depends on the circumstances

[What Did You Do]
[339]Last Birthday: went to the mall, found out parents were getting divorced
[341]Last Weekend: stayed home and watched movies
[342]Christmas: at cousins house.
[343]Thanksgiving: cousins house..
[344]New Years Eve: with my dad and brother some place in buffalo
[345]Halloween: I got jumped by 20(and yes, it was 20, thats how many were caught afterwards) blackkids with meagan, her sister, and justin
[346]Easter: hanging out with rob
[347]Valentines Day: dont rember
[yes or no]
[385]Are You A Vegetarian: No
[386]Do You Like Cows: of course
[387]Am I A Bitch For Making This Damn Survey: no..
[388]Are You Artistic:no
[389]Are You A Fast Runner: i guess
[390]Can You Ski: dont intend to
[391]Are You British: No, but paul is
[392]Do You Want To Spear Britney: dont care
[393]Do The Voices Talk To You And You Only: no, i am quite sane
[394]Did You Ever Give Barbie no
[396]Do You Think Disney Creators Were On Acid When They Made Alice In Wonderland: no, but they smoked pot
[397]Will The Real Slim Shady Please Shut Up:YES!
[399]Are You 1/2 Stupid, 1/4 insane and another 1/4 physically handicapped: just stupid
[400]Are You Fat: not at all
[401]Are You Skinny and just say your fat: no.
[402]Are You Short: average?
[403]Do You Own A Hot Pink Shirt: no but i have a bright orange one.
[404]How About Orange Pants: ..actually....yea
[405]Can You See The Flying Monkeys: no
[406]Are You Evil: i dont think so
[407]Did You Ever Know Someone Who Had A Mullet: moje
[408]Know Anyone Who Still Has One: no
[409]Is Britney A whore: sure..
[410]Are You A Teenage Zombie: if i am i am unaware.
[412]Do You Like Marilyn Manson: a little bit..
[413]If You Don?t Like Manson You Know You Suck Right: I do but only a select few songs.
[414]Are You Secretly From Another Planet: no
[416]Do You Shop At Hot Topic: Yes.
[417]Could You Kick My Ass: i dont know.
[418]If You Could Be Any Animal, What Animal Would You Be: a monkey
[419]Why Would You Be THAT Animal: they can climb really good
[420]If You Had To Eat One Thing For The Rest Of Your Life What Would it be: colosso taco!!!
[421]Do You Remember Any Of Your Dreams: not really
[422]Do You Dream In Color Or Black And White: color
[423]Do You Admit When You Need Help With A Problem: sometimes[424]Can People Read You Like A Book: ...i dont think so
[425]What's Your Biggest Fear: losing the people I care most about, spiders
[426]Do You Talk A lot: yes
[427]Are You Afraid Of Clowns: when i was younger i was(god damn IT)
[428]Do You Like Spiders: very afraid
[429]How About Grape Kool-Aid: love it
[430]Can You Drive?: no
[431]Are You A Spoiled Rotten Only Child: not at all
[432]Are You Anti-Social: too people i dont know
[433]How About Dumb People: i am dumb myself
[434]Now What Are You Going To Go Do: watch a movie

9:51pm: Sunday
Woke up and went to the mall today.Brought a new hat(like Jay's of Jay and Silent Bob) and a new thing of beeswax, since I plan on putting dreadlocks in my hair soon. Then I had the most disgusting, greesy mcdonalds ever.Everything was just soaking in greese, it was so nasty.But I ate it any ways, I was so hungry.

Once I came home,I had to watch Josh again,so I read more of the Hobbit, watched the Fellowship of the Ring, then Jason Takes Manhattan, then Scareface and now Spawn 3(the cartoon).Now I am really, really hungry but I cant find anything to eat.I hate when this happens.Also tomarrow is going to be so boring, no one is going to be home, or want to do anything.So I guess, i'll be online all day tomarrow.

10:34am: Terrible night
Tonight has been so bad. Firstmy parents got into another fight,where itturn into my dad yelling at me because of my brother was being stupid, where my mom then forced me too watch Josh all night long.Then I talked to meagan on the phone and she said how horrible of a person I am, and how this Tom guy is so much better, just to make me feel bad. Then I heard somebody going through my back yard, so I had to go outside but couldnt find any one(there were footprints in the snow). I also snapped my pantera cd of the beatles 1 album(but thank god, I had a back up burnt).There was alot more that happened but I dont want to explain it all.

Yesterday I brought Cabin Fever on dvd, it's fucking great.So nasty and bloody, its just so good.And to let all the people who don't know, I have completly finished the Two towers and Return of the King afew days ago.Now I am about 1/3rd of the way through the Hobbit. I also broke the g string on my bass, and I am trying to find a constructive way to use the broken string.


"and when all the broken hearted people in the world agree, there will be an answer ,let it be.."
Let it Be by the Beatles

1:01pm: Birthday party
Today was my very belated birthday party, so yea.It was ok, started off bad with my parents fighting and yelling at me.Anyways, I kinda stayed isolated in my room and the hall all day. Anyways, I got a bunch of money and stuff today, so I suppose it was worthwhile.

I've been watching movies all night long, just because I'am really in the mood now.So far I have gone through Evil Dead, Taxi Driver and now The Crow. After that, I am going to watch Spiderman, or I am just going to read more of the Two Towers.

3:08am: Very Hungry
There was no school again today, but it didn't come as that much of a surprise.Anyway I stayed inside most of the day watching The Fellowship of the Ring, then Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Not a whole lot done on this day.

Later on in the day I went with my dad shopping to a shit load of diffrent stores(where I got bamboo and the freddy vs jason dvd). In the car we had a talk about everything going on now, and alot of shit. I really don't wanna hear about any of it, it's just making it worse.

Tomarrow is my birthday party thing where my family comes over and it's really boring and stuff. Rob said he is gonna come over, and then I know we are probally gonna end up leaving and going on a mystical adventure so yea.



Fight Club!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
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You'd carve them up with your chainsaw. I like your
style, you show much promise. Join me?


How would you Murder?
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Hell: You are most likely not an evil or bad
person, but are quite troubled at the moment.
Something is probably bothering you intensly.
With so much emotion bottled up, Hell will let
you release your anger. (please rate my quiz)


**Where will you go when you die?**(now with pics)
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^thats so fucking true.

2:49pm: eh.
Had school today, although we really shouldn't of.It was so freezing outside(below zero).Anyway school was boring as hell, nothing exciting happened. I skipped 12th with Carm, and just walked around outside.Where we then witnessed a bus leaking oil catch fire, and then fill a large part of the parking lot with smoke. This whole time Carm and I are just standing there, going "cool shit". It was great.

I was supposed to go see Ill Nino, and Sevendust tonight but I wasn't feeling all that great emotionally so I didn't go.....but I did manage to get my self some "Orgasmic Soda" which is seriously the greatest thing ever made.

Earlier today I started to watch Scarface, but ended up just skipping around to all my favorite parts(chainsaw in the shower, Tony's last stand, opening scene ect.) It's a cool ass movie, but not as good as Taxi Driver, not at all.Travis Bickle would skull fuck Tony Montanna.

I am close to finishing The Two Towers, right now I am about half way through Book IV. The story of Sam, Frodo and Gollum is so much better in the book then the movie.

I also was in deep thought earlier, over weather or not I should get a new hat. I really want a new hat now, but they are so damn expensive. Plus there is so much other stuff I need to by first. So any way, goodbyes.

7:01am: pissed.
fuck i am so fucking pissed right now, so I aint gonna type everything out now.

9:03pm: Online test thingy i took
1)Using the names of bands, spell out your name:

Nirvana
Insane Clown Posse
Cannibal Corpse
Hed P.E.
Otep
Led Zeppelin
Alice in Chains
Slipknot

2)Have you ever had a song written about you? Not that I know of.
3)What song makes you cry? Coffesions by Cold
4) what song makes you happy? Raining Blood by Slayer

a p p e a r a n c e
height: 5'8
hair color: Blonde/brown
skin color: normal white guy
eye color: blue
piercings: 2...3 if the other one is still open
tattoos: dont have any

r i g h t n o w
what song are you listening to?: Pantera "Cematary Gates"
what taste is in your mouth?: the taste of my tongue
how are you? sad.

d o y o u
get motion sickness?: sometimes.
have a bad habit?: Hell yeah, many of them.
get along with your parents?: My dad yes, he is great, my mom yells at me too much.


f a v o r i t e s
book: Helter Skelter
non alcoholic drink: Any Slurpee
thing to do on the weekend: Hang out with my friends(if i get the chance) or have my own movie marathon.
Band: Slayer, Slipknot or The Beatles
Movie: Taxi Driver, Texas Chainsaw Massarce, The Return of the King
Best Friend: Rob or Moje(shocking!)

h a v e y o u
broken the law: Yes
snuck out of the house: Never had too.
made a prank phone call: Alot of times.
skipped school before: yes.
been in a school play: no.my cousin has though.

l o v e
Girldfriend: no :(
children: My little brother is pretty much sorta like a son type thing.
current crush: i guess.
been in love: I dont know.
had a hard time getting over someone: yep,Meagan(and I broke up with her!)
been hurt: Constantly, it's getting to be a normal feeling.
your greatest regret: Not paying attention in school.

r a n d o m
your cd player has in it right now: In Utero(in one) and South of Heavan(in the other)
what makes you happy: movies, music,reading, hanging out with my friends, people with morals.

w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t
time you cried: I shed some tears while watching The Crow(and damn staight I'll admitt i cried).
you got e-mail: Seriously maybe a year ago?
thing you purchased: A pizza lunchable.
Got into a fight: few months ago


y o u r t h o u g h t s o n
abortion: Seriously depends on the conditions.
drugs: don't like them
dreams: Mine are very strange and often do not make sense.
reading: I love it so much.
war: depends on the situation (Vietnam-Bad, WWII-excellent use)

8:05pm: Waste of a day
Today the whole city was covered in snow, streets where un plowed, buses where running late everything, yet we still had school.

Anyways, today was a pretty boring day. I started reading The Two Towers, and so far it is better the The Fellowship of the Rings in every way. I've just started the chapter of Helms Deep, so I am looking foward to reading it. I didnt really do anything today, again I just stayed home. Later on I went out in the snow with my little brother and we built this massive snow fort/cave type thing. A whole lot of fun, with him.

Right now I am praying that there is no school tomarrow. I really dont wanna go. I seriously hate the people who go there.

1:40pm: Accomplished
I have officaly just finished reading The Fellowship of the Ring. It was such a great book, probally the best I have ever read(the next being Helter Skelter). Tomarrow I am gonna start the Two Towers, so I am hoping its just as good.

I fell asleep earlyer while eating, and when I woke up I was really tired, but that has just about wore away by now. Tomarrow, if I dont need to babysit, I am deterimed to go do something worthwhile instead of just staying home. The last time I have really been out is a week ago. Probally, I am just gonna end going to Torrin's house while Moje babysits and do something.

In a little bit, I'm gonna watch The Crow, that movie is really fitting my mood right now. It's so sad how much he was in love, yet all the terrible things that happened. More people need to see that.

3:52am: I love to say fuck
got a fucking problem,
I just love to say fuck!
And I don't care who's around me,
I could really give a fuck.
And I don't care if you're my mother,
Or my motherfucking father.
I could really give a fuck now.
That ain't my motherfucking problem.

(Prechorus)
Oh, Yeah!
I love to say FUCK when I'm driving in my car,
And FUCK when I'm walking in the fucking park.
FUCK you! If you don't like what I say.
I love to say fuck every fucking day,
Oh yeah!

(Chorus)
I love to say fuck!

Yeah, I hope I don't offend you,
When I say the word "FUCK!"
I guess you had it coming to you,
You're such a worthless little fuck.
And I don't care if you're my mother,
Or my motherfucking father.
I could really give a fuck now.
That ain't my motherfucking problem.
Oh yeah!

(Prechorus)
(Chours)
I got a fucking problem,
I just love to say fuck!
And I don't care who's around me,
I could really give a fuck.
And I don't care if you're my mother,
Or my motherfucking father.
I could really give a fuck now.
That ain't my motherfucking problem.

(Prechorus)
(Chorus)

Right now I am at jimmy's dads house, so yea.I guess we had a retarded band pratice or something today.I hung out with janelle for a little while, so that was cool.Last night was the stemm concert, it was fun, me, carmien, john stevens, ricky, alex ect. got searched by cops for one of alllegingly having a gun(ricky had a cap gun , but dropped it when the cops came). Palmeri's actaully has a stage now so thats pretty fucking cool.It's actaully pretty well made too, and pretty big also.It's black too.Good quality, maybe Bob villa quality.Anyway.

The Murderdolls are a great fucking band.Joey is the shit for recording all those instrumetns himself.Yep.Everyone should go out and listen to Dawn of the dead, or I love to say fuck by them.

Tomarrow I guess I am going to jackson music for i dont know what reason.

4:43am: Still Bored
Nick's Movie Qoute of the Moment: "When there is no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the earth."-Dawn of the Dead


I have to watch my brother today again, so I am really bored right now. I've been watching my Slayer dvd for awhile now, and reading stuff online. I'am hoping that I am gonna do something later on tonight, but I probally wont. Actaully I am pretty relaxed right now, but I still wanna do something. Fuck, right now I wish some one would come to my house.
Anyway I'am probally gona update again later tonight.

1:38am: Bored
This is my first entry ever in a journal, so keep that in mind.

Right now I am watching the Two Towers of Lord of the Rings. Its a fucking great movie. I only have 2 chapters left in The Fellowship of the Rings, then I can move on.

I stayed the night at Moje's last night and heard stories of his step dad and pissing on people's faces, throwing eggs at cops, and shoot guns.Well when I got home I found out that I had to watch my little brother. I don't mind watching him, but I hate how they force me to do it all the time. Seriously, I watch him just about everyday, for the majority of the day. It's really starting to show, how much his personality reflects mine. I can't say anything bad about my dad since he works, but my mom has no excuse to never be home. She is never here, and when she is she is always just yelling at me. I cant stand it.

For movies today, so far I watched Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom, It, and now the Two Towers.

I think that I might move in with my dad, once all this shit goes down. I really dont want known of this to happen at all, but I can't just ignore it. It hurts alot though to think about it. I don't exactly know how I am going to tell Joshie. It's getting to be real hard stay home all the time now.